Over
time, I kinda realized I found the whole 1-to-10 way of rating movies kinda
bored me - and that I lalso might have been too lenient (but that's beside the
point). So, I decided (after having been inspired by a particular YouTuber) to
devise a new one through which I will grade the movies I decide to review.
And
so, I present to you my new grading system, starting with the lowest of them
all...
The Great Mighty Poo
Here
we are, the very first step on a very new ladder. The Great Mighty Poo is
reserved for those movies that are flaming pieces of s**t. The movies that I've
given this grade are bad - as in, really bad.
Some
examples include Spy Kids 4, My Little Bossings, and The
Smurfs.
And,
after The Great Mighty Poo, higher up on the scale, we have...
The Picard Face Palm
While
not as bad as The Great Mighty Poo, the Picard Face Palm is still not a
pleasant thing to see. This grade is reserved for movies that suck, but aren't
exactly piles of crap.
For
example, Jupiter Ascending was bad, but it wasn't bad enough to deserve a Great
Mighty Poo. Neither were Alice in Wonderland and The Lion King 2.
Now
that we have all the negative ratings covered, let's move on to our equivalent
of a meh grade, that being...
An Unimpressed McKayla
There
are great movies, there are good movies, there are bad movies, there are
terrible movies, and there are movies that are just... eh. This grade is for
those movies.
I
give this grade to movies that failed to I thought were neither good nor bad.
Examples? Iron Man 3, Now You See Me, The Phantom Menace, and The Karate Kid
(the one with Jaden Smith).
So,
we finally have all the unpleasant stuff covered, let's move on to the nice
things I can say about movies. Starting with...
The Happy Jar Jar
I'm not changing that, by the way.
This
grade is for movies that are too good to be more than just okay, but aren't
super duper great. But, yeah, these movies are still good.
There
are a lot of movies to which I can think of giving this grade (because I'm not
a cynical asshole), like Cars, The Expendables, and 10 Things I Hate About You.
But
what about movies that are more than good? What about great movies? Well, I
have that covered, so don't you worry.
The Morgan Freeman of Approval
The
movies to which I give this grade are not just good, they are great. I don't
think that requires further explanation.
Movies
like Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol, Zombieland, and Run All Night are all great
movies, and they're great examples.
But,
there are movies that are great, and are a little more so with the added kick
of sentimental value. And, to those movies, I give...
The Big George
Oh
yeah. My favorite judge on Masterchef Australia (besides Anna Gare) giving the
highest rating I could give a movie - I knew I had to be using this in my
reviews sometime. This is reserved for the films that hit me hardest. This is
for the films that hit me smack in the middle of my dork sensibilities.
Man
of Steel, episodes 4 to 7 of Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings trilogy; those
are all movies worthy of The Big George.
And,
there we have it. This is the new grading system I will be using for movies from
now on. Hope you find it pretty amusing, and maybe you get to use them, too.
So,
what movies would you give a Great Mighty Poo or a Big George? Let me know,
leave a comment! As always, thank you for reading, and I'll get back to ya.
Oh,
yeah... This also exists.
So bad, it doesn’t deserve to have any effort made in removing the background.
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