"The Fifth Wave" | MOVIE REVIEW

They almost had it. Almost.

I don't know exactly what the balls went on during the conceptualization process of this film, but whatever happened, I'm sure there was some form of dysfunction behind the scenes. And I say this, because The Fifth Wave had a lot of potential to be a gripping alien invasion thriller. What we got instead was, um...

Yeah.

A "Totally Spies" Movie?! | HERE'S AN IDEA

I don't know how or why the idea dawned on me the other week (I'm pretty sure it had something to do with my obsession with Emma Roberts), but I thought to myself, "Hey, what if we had a Totally Spies live-action movie?"

I lingered on the thought for a while - probably longer than I should have - and I said, "I can come up with a pretty okay Totally Spies movie." I mean, I've watched the show (I'm a guy - we love that show) and followed it almost religiously, and I think I'm well-versed enough in the lore to know how this world works.

My ALL-NEW Movie Grading System!!

Over time, I kinda realized I found the whole 1-to-10 way of rating movies kinda bored me - and that I lalso might have been too lenient (but that's beside the point). So, I decided (after having been inspired by a particular YouTuber) to devise a new one through which I will grade the movies I decide to review.

And so, I present to you my new grading system, starting with the lowest of them all...